1963-2012

I don't know how many of you will actually read this. I will not be posting this on any of my social networks, so if you-the subscriber happen to stumble upon this, I suggest you also take some time to reflect upon our fallen star.

Its been about ten days or so since the world found out that we had lost Whitney Houston. I didn't watch the funeral. I feel like I would've gotten angry like I did for Michael Jackson's funeral. To be honest, I've been a bit of a wreck. I mean, I cried when we lost MJ, but I'm like really depressed Whitney is gone. She was such a big part of my life and I just hate that she left this world as a joke and forever labeled as a crackhead. I feel like this happens too often to other fallen stars--Amy Winehouse and ODB for example, left the world too young, and the world didn't raise its brow in the slightest way because no one was surprised. Well, I'm here to say, I'm always surprised. I'm surprised we've become conditioned to shrug it off when we lose a brother or sister because "they had it coming". I'm not okay with that. For the loss of Whitney, for the loss of MJ, for anyone.

We don't know how she officially died just yet. But out of respect to her, I'm just not going to type/assume anything, until we hear results. She's still a person, someone's mother, sister, and niece. No one should joke about her passing.

The photo I posted is the way I will always remember her. This was when she won a Grammy in the late 80's/early 90's for best pop vocal. I was just a kid and remember being in awe of her and feeling so honored that she had a daughter named Christina, whom she addressed on camera that it was time to go to sleep since it was past her bedtime. I obediently turned off the television and felt like a good little girl because I listened to Whitney.

Mucho Macchio

I've had the HONOR of working with the lovely Ralph Macchio a few a times now and its time I address how awesome he really is. I adore Ralph Macchio in every way possible. This is not a love letter or some sort of lustful fantasy; he is a happily married man, and a father of two...and while I do find him extremely handsome & attractive, I will be keeping those thoughts to myself and sticking to praising his professionalism. Ralph is what many consider a child star from his Karate Kid fame. Little do we know, he was already in his twenties when that movie was made. Still, he was young and very well could've fallen through the cracks many others in young Hollywood have been prey to. Ralph stayed clean, out of trouble and committed to his family. How often can anyone say that about an actor--or about any man in general?

My experience with Ralph has been most pleasant. He's so down to earth and extremely laid back. Nothing phases him. If anyone deserves a real Betty White-esque comeback, its Mr. Macchio. I want nothing more than for his career to re-skyrocket, and to be shaken off of this whole Karate Kid persona. He's been quite the good sport throughout the years' jokes and its definitely time the nice guy finishes on top. I really hope 2012 reignites something big for this guy. Love you, Ralph!

We Need To Talk About Kevin; Based on the novel: We Need To Talk About Kevin

What a disturbing story, shown in the most perfect way. There was one timing issue in the end but I don't want to give too much away...I realize I've done too much of that in my previous posts. I suppose I should work harder on that...nah. This is MY blog, so NYAH!!!

I feel like this film was a cross between The Good Son and Taxi Driver; a rather healthy marriage, don't you think? I don't know, something about psycho children just sort of points me in that direction.

Tilda Swinton gives a chilling performance as she portrays a mother whose son has gone on a killing spree. I saw a little tiny bit of Winona Ryder in her flashback scenes, but I definitely don't see that as a problem. Swinton was absolutely dead behind the eyes, something that is not easy to convince on camera.

Ezra Miller is Kevin and I fear seeing him in any other performance because I will only be able to picture him as this psycho. There are very fascinating moments with Kevin's wardrobe where it would often be duplicated from his childhood. It was such a simple thing but it caught my eye and creeped me out even more. Oh psychos....you're just so complicated and smart.

2 Great NY Films

I spent yesterday at a local cinema. I dedicated all that time to honor two very special New York films and I wanted to make sure I could watch them both on the same day. Both were so incredible and explored love and sexuality in two very different, raw and pure ways. Neither film glorified sex or nudity, even though they had a fair share of both (one WAY more than the other, but again, it wasn't glorified and was very very much justified). As an audience member, I was really really moved by both films. As a person who works in film, I had a few notes, but I will try to keep them short as to allow more gushing.

"Shame" explores the life of Brandon Sullivan, a sex addict. Honestly, this film really educated me, because I (like many people) felt that all men were sex addicts, and they used it as a medical term to get away with being creepy perverts. Wow. Just wow. I stand corrected. An addiction is an addiction, whether it be drugs, alcohol, or in this case Sex. Director, Steve McQueen did a tremendous job expressing that. Wealthy, attractive and successful Brandon would often times resemble a junky when he is trying to get his fix. This is where I give a small kudos to the Costume Designer, David Robinson. At first I didn't understand what he was trying to accomplish, but the minute I saw which way the film was headed it all made sense and immediately earned my respect. In fact I found it rather genius.

I'm going to take a minute to objectify Michael Fassbender. He should change his surname to Assbender because that's exactly what he is in this film. Superb performance. He really really gave himself to the character and I applaud him for going that far with it. I loved him in Inglorious Bastards and have been looking forward to seeing his beautiful face onscreen again. I got more than what I wished for; I got to see more than his face. Thank you, Jesus. YES.

Mr. Assbender is a very very handsome man, but his talent and IQ make him uber sexy. It would be a pleasure/dream/fantasy to dress/undress him.

Carey Mulligan plays Brandon's sister, Sissy. She was good. All I have to say is, whenever I saw her in her white outfit, I kept thinking she looked and sounded like Drew Barrymore as Casey from Scream.

This is from my absolute favorite scene in the movie. I really enjoyed the cinematography in this film because of its long, uneasy shots. This particular scene (and shot) was very long and I felt like my heart was going to explode. It was so intense in so many ways yet with hardly any movement at all. So uncomfortable, but so incredible.

Pariah was an absolutely amazing story. I felt like there were technical issues with sound and man did this crew desperately need a tripod. The uniforms in this film were unconvincing, and took me right out of it but it was only for the length of the scene.

I promise, those are my only notes...Pariah introduces us to Alike (pronounced uh-LEE-kay), a lesbian struggling with sexual identity, risking friendship and family; a true pariah.

It's so refreshing to see a story about gay characters who aren't victims of rape, hate crime, or AIDS or as some over exaggerated flamboyant butt of a joke. This film deals more with life at home and school, something we can all relate to.

The ending made me cry, which is hard to do. I'm still haunted by Alike's final poem.

Much respect to Eniola Dawodu, the Costume Designer of Pariah. She doesn't have much experience, but I was quite impressed at how she was able to dramatically transform such insanely beautiful women to a pair of masculine "AG"s.

Adepero Oduye is absolutely stunning as a fem and an AG. Job well done. Her performance still haunts me.

Pernell Walker's transformation blew me away as well, as did her performance.

Before I close, I have to mention Kim Wayans. Like Mo'Nique in Precious, I was quite impressed with this comedienne's approach on such a serious role. She made it easy to hate her, which means she served the character well. I will always prefer Ms. Wayans in the comedy world, but very much appreciated her work and dedication in Pariah.

The Artist

I am a huge fan of this film. Some people feel it was a copout or a bit too "gimmicky" but I found it absolutely wonderful. 100 minutes of pure greatness. I have a soft spot in my heart for old black and white movies and silent films.

In a world where this art is dying, George Valentin fears what many celebrities fear: inadequacy. The story really put things in perspective for those of us who are feeling old and face the threat of being usurped by younger more attractive generations. It also reflects what is to become of our entertainment industry as a whole. Silent or not, this was a good solid story.

Let's touch on that silence though. The ever so loud silence. I really think this enhanced the performances. The actors could no longer depend on the way they deliver a line, instead they had to rely on the Robert DeNiro style of acting---acting with the eyes. Jean DuJardin was absolutely brilliant with his expressions from dramatic and excitement in fame to subtle vulnerability in defeat. Those magic eyebrows and timeless face really convinced me he was in fact from the late 1920's. Absolutely dreamy and soooooo French.

Silent films make you notice everything else more, just like those who are deaf have heightened senses, we are able to feel more what our hero feels. We pay closer attention to what they are wearing and their environment; the details, time and talent it took to construct the look.

I also want to say, the dog in The Artist should get a Best Supporting Actor Oscar, Golden Globe and SAG Award. I'm not trying to be funny. This dog gave a hell of a performance and he supported George throughout the entire film, stealing the scene many times over, which is more than I can say about more than half of the human performances I've seen today.

Pardon Me, Do You Have Any Grey Poupon?

Yes I know I keep making empty promises to you guys about more frequent updates. I'm sorry. I'm just working on all these gigs! Wait....I'm working so you know what? No. I'm not sorry. I'm succeeding. Hahahahahaha.

Let's take a second to talk about mustard. It is the new black, not only in fashion but also in the culinary world. A colleague of mine works for The Food Network (what a dream job!!), and she turned me onto their blog. Behold the awesomeness of mustard:

"Mustard in its many forms — from condiment to vegetable, spice to cooking oil — is about to get its moment. Heat is hot, and this multifarious member of the cabbage family represents a vast, underexplored source of culinary heat. Look for sharp, peppery Indian mustard oil, spicy-salty Sichuanese pickled mustard greens and pungent-sweet Italian fruit mustards. We’re all about to learn that this genuinely global ingredient is much more than a hot dog condiment.

In 2012, condiment mustard will be made from scratch (it’s so easy) by more home cooks and chefs, mustard seeds will be pickled and scattered over all things rich and porky; mustard oil will move beyond Indian (and Korean and Chinese) kitchens, becoming a common cooking and seasoning oil (it makes a great salad dressing); and the greens, so healthy and so long neglected, will be next year’s kale." http://blog.foodnetwork.com/fn-dish/2011/12/30/favorite-ingredient-mustard-food-network/

Drawing inspiration from the foodies, I can honestly say mustard is definitely having its moment in fashion. I feel like the last time it truly was explored this way was around the 60's/70's. I myself have hesitated often when presented with mustard as a color option. I feel like it doesn't serve my beautiful complexion very well and that it makes me look rather sick. I am eating my words like I'm eating a veggie sammich oozing with--yep you guessed it: mustard.

There is a way to really maximize on this tricky color. If you're nervous about trending up, while its still a hot color, I suggest using it like it is used in food--as a condiment. Start with a splash of it as an accessory, on a scarf or a hat. It pairs well with charcoal, black or even dark brown. If using it in a larger portion, I'm a huge fan of it being used in the sweater family--cardigans, cowl and crew necks.

This is a photo from a 2011/2012 preview shoot I did last year. Notice how mustard can look retro and sort of timeless.

I've yet to venture into full on mustard territory for my personal wardrobe. I'll do bangles at most. I'm more of a Tobasco sauce gal, myself. I think I'll stick to that vermillion shade....so yes you can say I'm passing on the mustard...but hey I've always liked my stuff a lot more spicier than the common man.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

I stumbled upon this today:http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

I found it extremely helpful (and full of common sense), and decided to copy and paste it here for a few reasons:

-I'll always have it for me

-you, the reader/subscriber will always have it

-for whatever reason, Blogger isn't allowing me to post it as a link.

-these are all things that we've said to ourselves time and time again, but now that its all written down in one place, denial is harder to take over.

DECEMBER 11TH, 2011 @ 4:30 PM BY: MARC

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.

24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.