Friday, December 24, 2010
I'm a fan of cold weather. I know. I'm quite the rare breed. What I'm not a fan of, is looking 40 pounds heavier due to excess layering and/or spending hundreds of dollars on like 2 expensive thin layering pieces that don't even work. Enter Uniqlo's Heat Tech.
Totally fashionable AND totally affordable, Uniqlo's Heat Tech collection always draws the crowds every year. They have all kinds of heat generating pieces: Socks, leggings, jeans, short sleeve shirts, spaghetti strap shirts, long sleeve shirts, gloves, scarves, leg warmers, underwear, coats---anything you can imagine. I mean most of it feels thinner than silk and some of that Under Armour stuff, but somehow it keeps me so warm, I practically sweat!
With stylish colors and patterns and nothing costing over $40, I promise you'll be satisfied, insanely warm, and pretty damn stylish.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Ladies and gentlemen--especially gentlemen:
You stink. Like seriously, you really stink. You're probably in denial b/c you're used to how you smell, and your significant other is either used to it , or just too nice/scared to tell you. I've dressed a lot of people who are considered famous. Most of them smelled pretty nice but there's a select few who would really reek in certain areas of their garments. It never failed: the stench of pure rotten onions, old cabbage soup and/or a polluted ocean permeated the dressing room and singed my nose hairs. Some people can't help it. There's an allergy to lanolin, aluminum, fragrance, basically anything that would help with one's body odor.
I'm here to help.
You don't have to do all of the things listed below, but a combination of 1 or 2 could really change your life...who knows you may see yourself getting laid for once/more often. <--ZING!
1.) This one is the absolute must. Make sure your garments are machine washable. Buy yourself a large jug of white vinegar. The most I've ever paid is $3.00. Soak the garments in the vinegar for 1-2 hours. Do not worry about damaging the material. White vinegar actually sets dye which prevents fading. Its one of those weird phenomenons where its strong enough to kill bad odors and remove stains, but too weak to damage clothing. Oh yeah, that's right. White vinegar also removes stains! Anyways, once you're done soaking, toss your garments in the wash like normal. If its really bad, you may have to do this a couple times.
2.) Watch what you eat and drink. Ever smell a drunk person? Their pores are sweating all that goodness onto their clothes. It doesn't smell sexy at all. Same goes with fried foods and certain vegetables. Certain fabrics aren't so easy to treat, and once they absorb an odor, its going to get pretty expensive to get that odor out. Hello drycleaning bill...
3.) Be tidy. When you come home, don't put your clothes in a pile on the floor, especially if you plan on wearing them again before adding them into the laundry load. Hang them up so the garments can air out. Spray some Downey Wrinkle Release or Febreeze, so you'll at least wear the illusion of cleanliness. If you're allergic, here's an old trick we did for the ballet: VODKA. Buy yourself a cheap well vodka and put a few shots in a spray bottle. Lightly spritz the garment and it will neutralize any odors. This also works well on shoes.
4.) If you're one who perspires on the heavy side, I suggest you wear dress shields or panty liners in your shirts, dresses, and jackets. Insert them under your pits. Its a very discreet and inexpensive way to keep your nice clothes from getting damaged. If you sweat in other places, rub generous amounts of baby powder on the area. This also prevents chaffing.
*Sweating is very good for you by the way. It's your body's way of flushing out toxins. Unfortunately, it's just bad for your clothes.
5.) This one doesn't really have anything to do with smells...just a nifty laundry tip. Wash your clothes in COLD water. Studies show that the water temperature has no effect on the amount of bacteria that's washed away in the spin cycle. This is a great way to reduce your carbon footprint AND you won't risk damaging and shrinking your clothes.
I was inspired to type this after getting my costumes back from a show I closed. 3 days later, I regained consciousness and began Project: Smell Good. Unfortunately some pieces just weren't salvageable. I'm not giving up though. I will make them smell better.
Keep smellin' pretty, yall.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I doubt my blog will ever reach Miss Ann, but I don't care. She deserves this.
To the lovely Miss Ann Ward,
At 6'2 and roughly 98 pounds, you are absolutely stunning. The rush of excitement and pride filled my living room when Tyra Banks revealed that you had in fact won the title of America's Next Top Model. Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks as you finally embraced the fact that you--yes YOU are beautiful, and beautiful enough to be given that title.
It makes me so sad that you had to endure such a painful childhood over something you had absolutely no control over. I myself was constantly tormented by my own family and classmates for being different, and am still struggling to this day. I admire you for having such a close relationship with your family and remaining strong enough to get to where you are today. I think you photograph beautifully and and everything about you is absolutely amazing. I hope one day I am lucky enough to dress you or even just be graced by your presence.
Ann, you are a one in a million kind of girl and I can't wait to see your Vogue spread. Do not let anyone ever make you feel small for being so tall, and always remind yourself that you are beautiful.
Thanks for being different and awesome.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
I judge them all the time. From hairstyles, to eyebrows, teeth, body hair, even down to their shoes, I'm always looking, always judging. Terrible right? Hey, I'm only human...a lady human...who happens to dress folks for a living.
Lately I've found myself gazing at men's socked feet. I'm so tired of athletic white, business black, thermal gray and everything else in the like. Give me some patterns! Guys, you don't have to be afraid to get funky even if you represent the white collar industry. In fact, I think its quite attractive to see a man in a plain solid suit with some electric colored or hip patterned socks peeking out. It makes me wonder what his life is like after hours. Don't give me that whole "this looks too fem" anxiety...a real man is confident sporting anything in every color and every cut.
This is a nice affordable way to change your wardrobe. Its the ideal way for those who want to get a wardrobe makeover at a much slower pace to test if this is in fact "a good change".
As a woman, the only white socks I have are the tubed kind from the 70's-usually worn with roller skates. The rest are all hot pink, checkered, Christmas, etc. They seldom match, and I'm quite happy about that. The rest of me (ankles/knees up) will always blend in with the rest of this world--no matter how hard I strive to be an individual, I've concluded someone is always wearing something breakthrough I think I've created myself. My socks however, are a personal statement, only privileged to those who have gained that right. *wink *wink
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Last week I did a night shoot for a shingles vaccine. Wardrobe was for middle aged regular people. Refreshing. It was fun. I bought tons of chenille sweaters and grandfather vests. In the midst of my travels, I came across this:
Michael Kors, what on earth would possess you to "design" (if you could even call it that) this monstrosity?! Alright I gotta admit, I feel like most of his designs look pretty cheap. But THIS...THIS takes the cake! This piece should be used as part of a fixer upper challenge for Project Runway...and that's putting it nicely
Anyways, the night shoot was entertaining. The client was extremely naive and had some rather interesting demands. For example, the shoot took place in a pharmacy, so we prepped labcoats for pharmacists. A pharmacist labcoat is shortsleeved, half length, and sometimes has a zipfront. The client actually demanded we take a regular doctor labcoat (longsleeved, full length) and shorten it for the pharmacist. Yes, its inaccurate. I have no idea why she wanted it that way. Rumor on set was that it was her first time directing a shoot.
What I'm getting at, is that I'm pretty good at performing little miracles. Check out mah labcoat tailorin' skills below:
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Yeah, the pun's totally intended. I've been busy this month. Most of my time was devoted to designing and dressing a stageplay set in the 80's....2 of the actors were actually offended by their costumes. I suppose I should've expected this, since they're under 24...
I mean seriously, what were they expecting?! There were tantrums galore. Granted there were MC Hammer pants and neon onesies but C'MON IT WAS THE 80's!
It was a tragic time for fashion. Anyone with half a brain would know that.
Shoulder pads, acid wash, rolled sleeves, crimped hair, aqua net, pat benatar...should I continue? I did have a blast dressing this show, and in the end everyone was appreciative. Next time I'm just gonna start tazin' folks.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
This week was way more awesome compared to last week. On Tuesday, I assisted an absolutely lovely stylist who specializes in the vintage world. Check out those vintage Prada loafers! I couldn't keep my eyes off of them. Wantwantwant! Hopefully I'll get photos from that shoot soon.
I also just wrapped up a job for The Vampire Diaries as a costume buyer. I spent like 14g's for two actresses for the upcoming season. I don't watch the show, but I guess I'll have to watch the one coming up. I was working with some fierce and fabulous bitches! One designed Entourage, and the other designed The Wrestler. They're totally down to earth, which was surprising b/c they're from LA. LOL.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
So last week I had the displeasure of working with a first timer, who I will now refer to as "The Idiot". She was absolutely hideous to me and to top things off, she was younger than me (this is valid since I'm under 30). The Idiot's motto for me for the entire shoot was "Um well this is my first gig ever, so you do it". It was for a large campaign and I am still dumbfounded as to how she landed that gig. This was my second time assisting a newbie and then it hit me: Production Companies are hiring girls fresh out of Fashion School for a lower rate and smaller budgets. This cannot continue. They're taking our key union gigs! Look, I'm all for progression in the field and young people being given opportunities, but there's an order to it all. Paying dues, interning, assisting, etc.
This doesn't just go for my department. SAG actors are dealing with this as well. Just because you have a pretty face doesn't mean you deserve roles/jobs meant for those who have worked so hard to get here.
My costume stock dressed the majority of the talent and I was never recognized or even thanked for that. Instead, the director praised The Idiot for her"genius".
I know you're sensing envy and bitterness but the truth of the matter is, if you can't fill out a timecard correctly, and you don't know what strobing and greeking mean, you probably aren't ready to be keying your own jobs yet. You will be at some point, but just not now. GO TRAIN and BE HUMBLE ABOUT IT.
There are 4 things wrong with this timecard...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Thank you, Star Magazine. You totally made my day. This was one of the outfits I was "against"...and it was her "fav". Hey, she wanted to look c*nt, and she certainly got what she wanted. In KLS's defense though, she did get us paid on time. Well played.
Caption: Sometimes less is more-and the Twilight hottie proves it! With a sleek updo, bare legs and sharp patent pumps, she lets the Hervé Léger by Max Azria mini speak for itself. Kimora's opaque tights and thigh-high boots drag the look down.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Yesterday we went to Eastern Long Island to shoot the Brooks Brothers Kids Catalog.
It was an absolutely beautiful location, with lots of trees and lakes and....beagles!
French Model: For the longest time I thought LOL meant "Lots of Love" instead of "Laugh Out Loud"and signed everything with it. I never understood why people kept calling me insensitive until I put LOL on a card I sent to a funeral.
Makeup Artist's Boyfriend: Its amazing. I'm looking at you right now and you look like you should have some sort of Asian accent. But then I hear you're from TN and I feel like you should have a southern American accent, but you don't. You just sound American. You're just some sort of an enigma! Amazing!
I tried to make a joke about the actual group, Enigma, but that failed miserably. Something about returning to innocence. Lots of crickets chirping there.
Honestly though, I'm quite disappointed in the upcoming line. The attached photo is what a typical Brooks Brothers Kids spread would look like. But its not going to look like that at all. They hired an outside "guest" designer for the season and it all looks and feels so cheap. One outfit consisted of yellow plaid shorts with a navy tshirt with the logo leaning towards the Quiksilver logo....ick. It basically looks like something from sales rack at Old Navy....in 1997. I have always loved the classic, crisp, clean look of Brooks Brothers, and I feel like trying to "hip it up" is so not merited. I'm not alone in this btw. I overheard the rest of the team badmouthing said designer for her horrible attitude and bastardization of the Brooks Brothers look. LOL!
So, this past week I helped dress a commercial for Boston Market (previously known as Boston Chicken). They are promoting turkey for the holidays. Hooray...ish.
We shopped and shopped and shopped, only to be told later that the client all of a sudden wanted Norwegian Holiday sweaters. This is why I hate dressing commercials. Great money, and its for a week max, but there's always some extremely unattractive but super wealthy bitter idiot in the client group who wants to flex their balls.
We were already shooting so I basically had to go out and find as many as I could and be back in under 3 hours.
The kicker: I had to send pictures of myself wearing said sweaters so that the client could pick out the best one.
I ended up getting kicked out of several vintage stores, since they don't allow photos. $350 later, I walked in itchy as hell and presented the sweaters to a group of unimpressed individuals who later decided not to go for a sweater after all.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Quick....what hot mess eats 4 lunches a day and goes around saying "OMG that's so cunt," and "Make me look cunt"? Um this one:
This is one MEAN woman. I helped dress her for Fashion Week. I had to drive to Russell Simmons's house every morning (which is in NJ) just to get her dressed in clothes brought in from the city. Um in case you're not understanding the math here, Fashion Week is IN THE CITY. At the Zac Posen show, she suddenly had a craving for a gyro and all the poor PAs were scrambling to get it to her. Well it turns out 2 minutes isn't fast enough and the PA who brought it to her was fired.
This lady has a daily grocery demand of 200 items roughly totaling to $1000. Some of the items include:
Toilet Bowl Cleaner
Truvia (she was on a Splenda kick, but now she's converted)
I don't remember the rest, but if you think about it, they shoot the show for like 3 months or something and she demands all that stuff EVERYDAY. If one item is missing she goes ballistic. She probably knows her career is almost over especially since she just got fired from Baby Phat. She's known to fire people who are prettier than her, and its already happened. It wasn't me though--even though I'm way hotter than her LOL.
The key stylist has to try on all the clothes, take pictures of herself in them, and then either email the photos or give the camera phone to Kimora's assistant, who then shows them to Kimora and lets her pick. I am not joking. Her kids order $100 worth of sushi for a SNACK. Not lunch, or dinner but a SNACK--and most of it gets thrown out.
Her entourage gave me my 3pm calltime at 1:30am, then called me while I was asleep at 7am to come in 7 hours earlier than expected because Kimora felt like it.
Thankfully Fashion Week is now over and I no longer have to drive to Russell's house because one more day of that garbage and I would've shat on their floor.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
So I just wrapped an awesome gig.
It was a catalog job for Stage Store's After Thanksgiving Sale.
Yeah I've never heard of them either...I think they're popular in like Texas or something. The clothes cater to mostly Southerners and Midwesterners.
It was an awesome gig. Let's start with the attached photo...he wasn't one of our models, but his face definitely captures my glee. YES. We shot Christmas sweaters---not only that but they were paired with elastic waist jeans! Oh happy, happy me. No one one set could understand why I loved that so much. They sort of concluded that its because I'm a hipster.
I am not a hipster. Death to hipsters.
I like campy things...geez. If only John Waters was on set. He'd understand. Le sigh...
Anyways, Day 1 consisted of the makeup artist chasing me around speaking in Italian and confusing the hell out of me, "Ah Chrrrrrrristina! asklfjsfa;sjteitojaiaj;igajwg y MEOW MEOW MEOW!" Yes, there certainly was a lot of meowing that day...I never quite figured out what any of it meant.
Today (Day 4) was hectic. I dressed an 18 month old who took a liking to me, particularly my boobs. I held her and she kept pulling down my shirt and bra and flashing the crew. When I tried to put her down, she freaked out and demanded I pick her back up. She eventually had to get re-cast.
I'm also double-dipping at the moment...as in I'm doing two jobs at the same time. I'm in the middle of designing some outfits for the MTV VMAS...not terribly stressful. I've worked with MTV and they've been really good to me. I dressed the VMAs last year, and they really liked me which is why I got invited to come back. I just have a little extra pressure because I'm having to re-design a Taco Bell logo and screen print it onto some shirts...dun-dun
I kinda wish I kept one of the sweaters.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I got up at 4:30am on Monday to go to Connecticut for an underwater shoot.
Members of the New York City Ballet were being photographed in high fashion couture while moving underwater.
I swear I'm not that fat. I had to wear a huge weight to keep myself underwater so I could pull the material down.
It rained all day and the photographer wasn't very nice...actually his wife was afraid I was going to pee in the pool. She totally singled me out. Just for that I should've peed in the pool.
Anyways, here's a preview.
My dear sweet blog,
I'm so sorry I have neglected you. I got busy for a second. This industry is getting bad. I did a job for a major TV network and the pay was insulting. It was quite unorganized but the director was pretty cool. We talked about the Goonies a lot. The designer was a bit of an idiot. I think a memorable quote was maintained from one of the days we were talking about the type of work we were involved in. I was honest and said that I don't have an interest in fashion, but rather I want to dress projects that depend on building a character. It gives me a chance to be creative. She replied, "Oh wow. I haven't been trained to be creative so I just stick to what I know".....um and what pray tell is that?!
Anyways, I worked with some interesting talent. One was very sweet and flirted a bit, but was a jerk to his fans. One was just an all around douchebag...in fact I don't think anybody really liked him. One was all about getting to know my department, but was very "L.A.". And finally, one was an attention hog...claimed to have been a cheerleader in high school who made fun of people like me. Yeah...she was a huge disappointment. Ah well...that's why the person she was mean to on another show is on an award winning series, and well she's just barely getting by.
I'm not bitter...but seriously who says that to someone dressing them?! "oh yeah...I definitely would've made fun of you in high school"...okay thanks for that since I was probably a wee one still sucking at the teet while you were off being a jerk.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
We're in the review! I'm actually mentioned by name and everything...weird and exciting at the same time. Thanks to everyone who came out and supported us! Oh and thank you for the compliments on my costumes. Photos coming soon!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
So someone in your life wants to get into acting...uh huh that's always good.
Be sure to show them this blog and maybe they'll come to their senses. J/K...a little. Seriously though, the following is a checklist of things actors/actress should have in their closets.
1. Wedding bands: gold AND silver
They don't have to be the real thing...you can get these out of the quarter machine at the grocery store.
2. Jeans: the fancy kind AND the lounge kind
We all know its hard to find a pair of jeans that look and feel JUST RIGHT. Options, people. Options.
3. Men: You must have some suits!
Its just like my argument with jeans.
4. Ladies: NUDE UNDERGARMENTS! Extra brownie points if you also have Strapless & Spanx!
5. Men: You'd better own more than one type of underwear...briefs, boxers, boxer briefs, manthongs...i mean it!
6. Nice solids--as in NO patterns, logos or plaids, and make sure they're trendy.
7. Glasses: a hip pair and a really ugly pair; nothing too over the top--make sure they are anti-glare
8. Belts! Men: black, brown, canvas, white, etc. Women: thin ones and chunky ones
9. Men: make sure you have some dress shirts--especially if you have irregular sleeve/neck sizes
10. HONESTY. When you lie about your size, you're not just lying to me. You're lying to the entire production, which sets everyone back. Don't be self conscious, b/c in this industry that equals selfishness. I had a woman tell me she was a size 8...in real life she was a size 12. I had shopped over $3,000 worth of size 8 merchandise for a commercial, only to have a very irritated director, producer and clients because the talent couldn't fit into anything.
11. Any sort of unique piece is always good to bring to a fitting as long as it goes with the palette/period.
So you're probably asking yourself: "Um why should I have to provide everything in the list above? You're the effing wardrobe stylist/designer...isn't it your job to have all that?"
Its my job to provide what the director envisions the talent to be wearing. Its the talent's job to already own staples in their own personal wardrobe that fit and have been molded for their particular body type. I can't fit you for a ring or underwear and it takes a while to dye and/or age garments. A lot of times, directors prefer the worn in look. Keep that in mind before you decide to argue this list.
Just remember I'm trying to help!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I think a while back I mentioned being commissioned to make a bunch of Star Wars costumes for some kids...15 to be exact...which then turned into an additional 2 adult costumes. Anyways, my client was quite pleased and sent me this lovely video from "The Battle". Enjoy!
PS-If you want custom made gear for your kids, hit me up!
Monday, May 31, 2010
I finally got a copy from the photoshoot I dressed for Canon. I had to blowdry that tux over and over again due to multiple takes. We shot this at Barbetta, NYC's oldest single family owned restaurant. It is absolutely beautiful and romantic. I highly recommend going on a date there.
Anyways, back to me...look for this photo in all sorts of magazines! Thanx for all the support!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Alright, I'm not intentionally trying to sound like a hater here, but since I finally have a second to breathe, I'm going to address something that's not important at all.
Christina Aguilera needs to fire everyone and start from scratch. I've never really cared for her music, but the poor thing never had a chance, and now she's cancelled her big tour. The girl can sing--I mean what an amazing voice! But somehow she's been screwed since the very beginning of her career. Her image and her music have always been carbon copies of the latest and hottest chart toppers. She's copied Britney, Madonna, Marilyn, Lil Kim, and now Gaga. Always in another blonde's shadow...I'm sure its not her fault. Its whoever is running her career. **I do realize that pop music is indeed carbon copies galore but this is a very special [and BLATANT] case.
Hey Christina, fire him/her and yo entire crew! Lemme help you! I specialize in results! I wanna give you a FRESH, ORIGINAL look. You know where to find me...
Saturday, May 22, 2010
I'm designing a show. You should come watch. Its the one mentioned in my previous blog: "Stirring Crazy". Its still stressing me out, but we got a new director and he's absolutely wonderful. The propmaster is also a gem. Come. Watch. And later: drinkskies.
Tickets can be purchased at the door or online at http://www.MoxieStreetPictureShows.com
See you there!
Friday, May 21, 2010
I helped dress a Shoe Carnival commercial. Color palette: GREY. It was all about the shoes. It was actually quite beautiful, one of the best lit sets I've ever stepped onto. Um they asked me to be in it...after I agreed to it, I was informed that I would be in JEGGINGS. Nooooooo! I had to wear jeggings and stand on a skateboard suspended midair. Painful. Physically and visually.
I left my home at 4:45am, and go home at 1:30am. Thank God for overtime.
Monday, May 17, 2010
I'm designing my first Off-Broadway show and its been insane. Opening night is less than 5 days away and our director got fired, my dresser quit, and I think we may have lost one of our leads. That last one I don't know for sure b/c I've been elsewhere working on another gig. I told you. Pure craziness.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
WOW. I can't believe its almost May. Blog, I am so sorry to have neglected you. I've just been so busy. I'll be posting pictures soon. In the past month I've been working on an upcoming steampunk shoot, designing a wedding dress, costume designing & producing my friend's indie flick, styling a Canon ad, working post at a production company, and still apprenticing at the tailor. Ah crap I gotta go. I'm late for work!!
Friday, March 5, 2010
I'm finally pursuing one of my goals, and that is learning the art of custom tailoring. I am apprenticing at Charlie's Custom Tailor. My mentor is young but very old school about his teachings. Like today for example, he tied my "thimbled" middle finger to my right palm, and I had to keep it like that and work for 8 hours. This was especially difficult because I am left handed. It was so frustrating because I couldn't stitch in a straight line due to my handicap. No gripes here though. The pain goes away after a nice "fanger massage" but the knowledge I gain will stay with me forever. Muahahahahaha.