Saturday, September 25, 2010

Highlights from The Brooks Brothers Shoot

Yesterday we went to Eastern Long Island to shoot the Brooks Brothers Kids Catalog.
It was an absolutely beautiful location, with lots of trees and lakes and....beagles!
Some highlights:

French Model: For the longest time I thought LOL meant "Lots of Love" instead of "Laugh Out Loud"and signed everything with it. I never understood why people kept calling me insensitive until I put LOL on a card I sent to a funeral.

Makeup Artist's Boyfriend: Its amazing. I'm looking at you right now and you look like you should have some sort of Asian accent. But then I hear you're from TN and I feel like you should have a southern American accent, but you don't. You just sound American. You're just some sort of an enigma! Amazing!

I tried to make a joke about the actual group, Enigma, but that failed miserably. Something about returning to innocence. Lots of crickets chirping there.

Honestly though, I'm quite disappointed in the upcoming line. The attached photo is what a typical Brooks Brothers Kids spread would look like. But its not going to look like that at all. They hired an outside "guest" designer for the season and it all looks and feels so cheap. One outfit consisted of yellow plaid shorts with a navy tshirt with the logo leaning towards the Quiksilver logo....ick. It basically looks like something from sales rack at Old 1997. I have always loved the classic, crisp, clean look of Brooks Brothers, and I feel like trying to "hip it up" is so not merited. I'm not alone in this btw. I overheard the rest of the team badmouthing said designer for her horrible attitude and bastardization of the Brooks Brothers look. LOL!

Ahhh Christmas Sweaters Won't Leave Me Alone!

So, this past week I helped dress a commercial for Boston Market (previously known as Boston Chicken). They are promoting turkey for the holidays. Hooray...ish.
We shopped and shopped and shopped, only to be told later that the client all of a sudden wanted Norwegian Holiday sweaters. This is why I hate dressing commercials. Great money, and its for a week max, but there's always some extremely unattractive but super wealthy bitter idiot in the client group who wants to flex their balls.
We were already shooting so I basically had to go out and find as many as I could and be back in under 3 hours.
The kicker: I had to send pictures of myself wearing said sweaters so that the client could pick out the best one.
I ended up getting kicked out of several vintage stores, since they don't allow photos. $350 later, I walked in itchy as hell and presented the sweaters to a group of unimpressed individuals who later decided not to go for a sweater after all.
How cute.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

"That's so c*nt!"

Quick....what hot mess eats 4 lunches a day and goes around saying "OMG that's so cunt," and "Make me look cunt"? Um this one:

This is one MEAN woman. I helped dress her for Fashion Week. I had to drive to Russell Simmons's house every morning (which is in NJ) just to get her dressed in clothes brought in from the city. Um in case you're not understanding the math here, Fashion Week is IN THE CITY. At the Zac Posen show, she suddenly had a craving for a gyro and all the poor PAs were scrambling to get it to her. Well it turns out 2 minutes isn't fast enough and the PA who brought it to her was fired.
This lady has a daily grocery demand of 200 items roughly totaling to $1000. Some of the items include:
Christmas Napkins
Paper Plates
Plastic Cutlery
Toilet Bowl Cleaner
Tide Detergent
Truvia (she was on a Splenda kick, but now she's converted)
Cashew Chews

I don't remember the rest, but if you think about it, they shoot the show for like 3 months or something and she demands all that stuff EVERYDAY. If one item is missing she goes ballistic. She probably knows her career is almost over especially since she just got fired from Baby Phat. She's known to fire people who are prettier than her, and its already happened. It wasn't me though--even though I'm way hotter than her LOL.
The key stylist has to try on all the clothes, take pictures of herself in them, and then either email the photos or give the camera phone to Kimora's assistant, who then shows them to Kimora and lets her pick. I am not joking. Her kids order $100 worth of sushi for a SNACK. Not lunch, or dinner but a SNACK--and most of it gets thrown out.
Her entourage gave me my 3pm calltime at 1:30am, then called me while I was asleep at 7am to come in 7 hours earlier than expected because Kimora felt like it.
Thankfully Fashion Week is now over and I no longer have to drive to Russell's house because one more day of that garbage and I would've shat on their floor.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Da Muthaload

So I just wrapped an awesome gig.
It was a catalog job for Stage Store's After Thanksgiving Sale.
Yeah I've never heard of them either...I think they're popular in like Texas or something. The clothes cater to mostly Southerners and Midwesterners.
It was an awesome gig. Let's start with the attached photo...he wasn't one of our models, but his face definitely captures my glee. YES. We shot Christmas sweaters---not only that but they were paired with elastic waist jeans! Oh happy, happy me. No one one set could understand why I loved that so much. They sort of concluded that its because I'm a hipster.
I am not a hipster. Death to hipsters.
I like campy things...geez. If only John Waters was on set. He'd understand. Le sigh...

Anyways, Day 1 consisted of the makeup artist chasing me around speaking in Italian and confusing the hell out of me, "Ah Chrrrrrrristina! asklfjsfa;sjteitojaiaj;igajwg y MEOW MEOW MEOW!" Yes, there certainly was a lot of meowing that day...I never quite figured out what any of it meant.

Today (Day 4) was hectic. I dressed an 18 month old who took a liking to me, particularly my boobs. I held her and she kept pulling down my shirt and bra and flashing the crew. When I tried to put her down, she freaked out and demanded I pick her back up. She eventually had to get re-cast.

I'm also double-dipping at the in I'm doing two jobs at the same time. I'm in the middle of designing some outfits for the MTV VMAS...not terribly stressful. I've worked with MTV and they've been really good to me. I dressed the VMAs last year, and they really liked me which is why I got invited to come back. I just have a little extra pressure because I'm having to re-design a Taco Bell logo and screen print it onto some shirts...dun-dun

I kinda wish I kept one of the sweaters.